


Could he ever love me if he knew?

by midnightwolfgirl358



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-11-05
Updated: 2013-02-09
Packaged: 2017-11-18 01:22:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/555318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnightwolfgirl358/pseuds/midnightwolfgirl358
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blade alwasy hunts alone until one night she runs into the Winchesters. She is forced to go against her rules and hunt along side them. She tries to escape them, only for them to find her living with Bobby. Blade has a secret that she must keep but she's scared as she is having feelings for a charming Winchester.Only Bobby and and few other know her horrible secret. If Dean knew who she really was, would he still have the same feelings for her as before or will he turn on her and hunt her like a monster?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Hey so here's my story! Let me know what you think! If you see any mistakes let me know! I love all kinds of feeback!

Chapter 1

The moon was full and the sky was pitch black, but that wasn't a problem for me. My eyesight was better at night than during the day. I sat alone on the roof of a building looking out at the night sky. I could feel the sadness growing inside of my heart. I tried to push it down, make it go away. I hated feeling this way, feeling so alone. It's been years since since everything happened and yet I still couldn't make it go away. I felt the tears fill my eyes and slowly roll down my skin. I hardly ever cried but when I did, it for only one person...

I walked through the streets, my footsteps as quiet as a cats'. I kept to myself looking straight ahead. I had only one thought on my mind, and that was to find him. But I knew I was crazy to even think of what I was planning to do. I knew it would take a while to even get everything started, but I had to try...

ONE YEAR LATER

***

I sat at the local diner looking over my research of the case I was working on. It's been over a year since I've hunted so I'm a little rusty, but I'm still good at a lot of other things. I've decided to get back in the game and do a few hunts here and there with my one true hunt I'm working on. That is to find the creature that killed my beloved Myles.

As I sat there in the diner my waitress Flo, brought out my bacon cheeseburger. I saw two guys walk in and sit down not to far from me. As they sat down and started talking, I knew right off the bat that they were hunters, like me. I watched out of the corner of my eye cautiously making sure to make myself unnoticeable. I may have been out of the game for a while but I can pick out a hunter in a crowd. The shorter one of the two was on edge keeping an eye out for anything. He wore an old leather jacket over his grey t-shirt and blue opened flannel and blue jeans. The taller one talked to the shorter one while looking at the laptop in front of him, he wore a light brown jacket over a white shirt with blue jeans.

'I now know that I'm going to have to be careful, now that I have competition'

I thought as I took a quick glance at the hunters. 'I can't believe that I've got these two moving in on my case. I haven't even been here in Georgia a few hours. But not for long.' I smirked to myself as I finished my dinner.

Once done, I gathered my stuff, paid for my meal and walked out of the diner. I walked to my car and put my stuff inside. Then I sat on the trunk of my car and waited for the other hunters to come out. I made sure that my brown hair was wrapped up in my black ball cap and pulled on my over-sized leather jacket, making sure I didn't look to much like myself. I didn't have to wait long before they walked outside, as I made my way over to them just before they made it to their car.

"Hey!" I called to the guys. Both of them turned around to look at me. "I think you guys are a little lost."

"No I don't think so dude." the shorter of the two replied.

"I think you are." I retorted.

"Look man, we're not trying to stir up any trouble. But I think you may have the wrong people." The taller said trying to calm things down.

"I know hunters when I see them." I said in a matter-of fact tone. "Move off my case and go find another one."

"Look pal I don't know who you think you are to tell us what to do, but you better watch who you're talking to before-" the shorter one started before I cut him off.

"Before what? You going to try to kick my ass? I'd like to see you try!" I started to laugh as he started to walk towards me.

"Dean, no!" The taller one said stopping the guy called 'Dean'.

"Sam let me go! This dude doesn't know who he's messing with." Dean said trying to get out of Sam's grasp.

I looked at the two standing my ground as I heard their names. 'Dean? Sam? Why do those names sound familiar?' I took a quick look at the car behind them to see a black 1967 Chevy Impala. 'Winchester! Holy crap!'

"Whoa wait...Dean? Sam? Your last name wouldn't happen to be Winchester?" I asked watching cautiously.

"What's it to you about what are last name is?" Dean questioned as he stopped trying to get out of Sam's grip. Sam let his brother go.

"Just never thought I'd get the chance to run into you guys." I said smirking at them.

"Look dude, I'm getting really sick and tired of your smart-ass remarks." Dean said as the anger built inside of him. "And who the HELL are you anyways?"

"First off, stop calling me 'dude', I'm a girl." I said as I pulled off my cap, letting my hair fall down onto my shoulders. "And you can call me Blade."

"You don't look like hunter, and what kind of name is Blade?" Dean said looking me up and down.

"Well you can call Bobby Singer. I know you know him. He'll tell you who I am. And Blade is a nickname, but you won't get Bobby to tell you my real name. Only a few people know it." I told them. I saw Sam keep a weary eye on me as he pulled out his phone to call Bobby. He walked a few feet off to talk to hear Bobby. Once he was out of ear shot I caught Dean eying me. "What? Like what you see?"

"Maybe." he smirked at his comment.

"You're a lot cockier in person than from what I've heard about you."

"Really? Just what have people said about me?" he smiled at the fact about hearing that people were talking about him.

"Not much. Just that you're a cocky son of a bitch, who takes advantage of girls in bars just to have one night stands, only to leave them the next day. A real man-whore." I smirked as I added the last part myself. Apparently he didn't like what he heard as his smile turned into a thin line. "Also that your a good brother to Sam, looking out for him, and a good son."

His smile returned a little bit at the last part but it was more of a grimace than a smile. He was about to say something to me just as Sam walked back over to us.

"Well Bobby says you check out and he says 'hi'." Sam said.

"Well I guess I'll have to give him a call tomorrow to see what he wants." I said more to myself.

"So do you still wants us to get lost like you wanted us to a little bit ago or what?" Sam asked trying to figure out what to do.

"Well now that I know who you are that's a bit of a more difficult decision." I said thinking about my situation.

"Well if you want to we could handle the case together, just this once." Sam offered.

"I'm not really into partners...but I guess this one time wouldn't hurt." I said looking between Sam and Dean.

Dean rolled his eyes at my comment. "Don't sound so down about it, sweet cheeks."

"Don't EVER call me that again unless you want to see the next day." I threatened through clenched teeth.

"Don't mind him. He's always like this...and he's been up for about 72 hours driving." Sam butted in. "So where are you staying?"

"I'm not staying at any motel. I pretty much live out of my car." I said pointing to my 1969 dark blue Oldsmobile.

"Well if you want you can stay with us for a night or two? That's if you want." Sam offered.

"Sam what are you doing?" Dean started to protest.

"Dean it's freezing out. We can't just let her freeze in her own car and it's only for a night or two." Sam said looking at Dean.

"Look I can tell when I'm not wanted. So thanks Sam for the offer but I'll just stand the cold like I always have." I started to walk away when I felt a hand gently turn me around. I found Sam standing in front of me giving me an apologetic look.

"Blade wait please...Dean come on man" Sam looked back at Dean giving him a hard look.

"Fine. But no more than two night. Then once this job is done we go our separate ways. Deal?" Dean said.

Sam looked at me giving me a small smile. I looked at Dean before looking back at Sam. "Fine with me."

"OK lets head out. Blade just follow us to the motel." Sam said walking over to the Impala.

"Alright." I said walking back to my car.

***

As I walked into the room they were staying in, I noticed it looked like a place that someone pays by the hour rather than by the night.

"So Blade you can have my bed, as I know that Dean won't offer or share his bed." Sam offered.

"Hey I don't share my bed with other guys, now if Blade wants to share a bed with me, I can't promise anything won't happen." He looked at me and smirked while giving me a wink.

"That will never happen...and not even in your dreams will it ever happen." I said giving him an evil glare. "Sam I'll take the couch so that you can have your bed."

"Too late I've already got my stuff over there." He said sitting down on the couch.

"You guys are a pain." I said shaking my head. "Hey do you guys mind if I take a shower?"

"Only if I get to join you." Dean said

"Dean!" Sam yelled. "Blade go ahead."

"Thanks Sam." I grabbed my night clothes and headed into the bathroom making sure I locked the door. I took long hot shower. The hot water helped to relieve the knots in my back.

Once I was done I got dressed in my black tank top and gray short shorts and walked back in to the room to see Sam asleep and Dean sitting on his bed in nothing but his black boxers, looking at Sam's laptop. I sat down on on the bed I was using and finished towel drying my hair. I grabbed my bag that was next to the bed and grabbed my lotion and started to rub it into my legs and arms. As I did that I could see Dean glancing over every now and again.

The only light in the room was the glow of the laptop but it was enough for me. I started to rub my neck feeling the knots that didn't relax in the shower. I began to roll my neck in hoping that it would at least pop to relieve some sort of tension.

"You okay?" I opened my eyes to see Dean looking at me.

"Yeah, just some knots in my neck. I'm fine." I said tilting my neck to the side while my hand pulled on my neck closing my eyes. I didn't hear or see Dean get up from his bed and put the computer down. I did feel the bed sink behind me and two strong hands lay on my shoulders. "Whoa! Dean what are you doing?"

"Ssshhh...you're going to wake Sam up. I giving you a massage to help with your knots. Now just hush and relax." He said as he pulled me back down, when I tried to pull away from him, and started to rub my shoulders.

"Dean I don't-" I started to say before but stopped when I felt my body start to relax as he rubbed my shoulders and neck. "Mmmmmmmm...that feels good."

"You should see what else I can make feel good." he said and I could feel his smirk from behind me.

"Does everything you have to say have some sort of sexual meaning behind it?"

"No not everything, but when I'm massaging a hot girl I can't help it."

"Yeah I'm sure you say that to all the girls."

"No not every girl. Just the ones I know I can make feel good."

"Yeah, but I will say this, nothing sexual will ever happen between us."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Dean if you try anything, it will be the last thing you ever do."

"Can't you ever take a joke?"

"From a cocky jerk like you? No." I felt Dean stop massaging my shoulders, and I was about to turn my head to look at him when the next thing I knew I'm on my back with Dean on top of me holding both my hands above my head. "Dean what are you-?"

"Take back what you said and I might let you go."Dean said.

I tried to move but he had all his weight on me pinning me between him and the bed, and he had my hands pinned above my head. "No I'm not going to take it back because it's true! Now let me go Dean."

"You know I kind of like you like this. You can't move as I've got you pinned." His face was only inches from mine. I could feel his breath against my lips. I was looking straight into his eyes. His green eyes were hiding something but I couldn't tell what it was. I bit down on my bottom lip as we just laid there. I tried to keep my breathing normal, as it is hard having a hot guy lay on me. 'oh god help me. I just called Dean hot...I mean he's not bad looking but he's a jerk...but he is kinda hot. I must be losing my mind!' Just then I noticed that his heading was moving closer to mine our eyes still locked until he moved his head to the side of my face so his mouth was near my ear. I felt my eyes close as I felt his hot breath against my ear, and I couldn't help but arch my lower back a bit and I knew that Dean felt it and I knew from just that little moment I'm in trouble now.

Dean's lips were still near my right ear softly blowing hot air just below my earlobe, causing me to arch my back a little more. I felt his free hand lightly run his finger tips against the side of my stomach slowly moving his way up. I bit my lip fighting back a moan not wanting to get him that satisfaction. His hand under my shirt, making sure it was skin to skin contact, moving over my bra gently caressing my one of my breast. Softly rubbing his thumb over my nipple causing it to become hard. His face moved down from my ear to the base of my neck softly brushing his lips against my skin, making me bite my lip even harder until I tasted the bitter flavor of iron in my mouth. I turned my head away from his and let go of my lip. I took deep breaths to calm myself down.

Just as I was about to say something Sam's voice called out some girls name, it was Jessica. Dean sighed but let me go and walked over to Sam. I sat up on my elbows as I watched Dean wake Sam up.

"Sam wake up," Dean shook Sam lightly. Sam jumped a little when he woke up before looking up at Dean. I heard Sam mutter a small 'thanks' as Dean let him go and rolled over on his side to go back to sleep.

"Is he okay?" I whispered once Dean sat back down on his bed an that Sam was back asleep.

Dean sat there with his head in his hands for a few minutes before saying anything. "Sam was just having a nightmare. He gets them a lot, but don't worry about him. We should get some sleep we've got a lot to do tomorrow." He said pulling back the covers and getting under them.

I sat there confused at what was going on, but pushed it aside. I only nodded my head before getting under my own covers and turning on my side with my back to Dean. I have no idea what just happened between us or why, but it was weird. It was wrong and shouldn't have happened, but it felt so right. 'But I can't let it happen again, I won't!' I closed my eyes at that last thought and let sleep take over. I have to admit that I miss being in a bed instead of the back of my car.

I was running down an empty street I didn't recognize. Only one thing was on my mind 'save Myles'. felt like I've been running for days, my legs were sore. As I ran I noticed a house in the distance. I ran as fast as my legs would take me to the house.

As I came up to the porch I tried the door, locked. I took a few steps back then kicked the door in. I stormed in hoping that Myles would be in here. I ran up the stairs looking in every room and closet. When I couldn't find him her I went back down stairs. I noticed a set of doors that were closed. I walked over to them. I looked them up and down before opening them, ans as soon as I did I saw Myles tied to a chair in the middle of the room.

His head was down and he wasn't moving. I ran over to him, grabbing his shoulders shaking him and screaming his name. But there was nothing in return. He was covered in cuts and bruises blood covering most of his body. I kept screaming his name begging him to wake up and come back to me.

I screamed until my throat was sore and I collapsed to the floor covered in blood, my head in his lap tears streaming down my face. That's when I saw the creature appear before me. That's when everything when black.

As I laid there in the dark in could hear a faint sound. I strained to hear what the sound was. As it grew louder I noticed it was becoming clearer, until I heard my name. All of a sudden it was like I couldn't breathe and when I awoke I grasp for air to fill my lungs.


	2. Missing Pages

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's the second chapter!

Chapter 2

As I laid there in the dark in could hear a faint sound. I strained to hear what the sound was. As it grew louder I noticed it was becoming clearer, until I heard my name. All of a sudden it was like I couldn't breathe and when I awoke I grasp for air to fill my lungs.

"Blade whoa! Calm down...just take slow deep breaths." I heard Dean say to me as he gently held me down. He sat beside me looking concerned with Sam standing beside him. "Are you okay?"

All I could do was stare. I finally got my breathing under control before saying anything. "I...I'm...I'm fine." I managed to say.

"What happened?" he asked pulling me up.

"Nothing...just a nightmare." I said looking at him. "I'm fine. Don't worry about me."

"Are you sure? You kept calling some guys name over and over again." He said looking at me.

"I don't even remember it." I said lying through my teeth. I knew what name I was calling out but they didn't need to know who he was. I gave them a small smile to let them know I was okay. "Um yeah so I'll be right back I have to get something out of my car." I pushed the covers off of me and started to get up.

"It's the middle of the night. What is so important to get out of your car now?" Dean asked looking at me like I was crazy.

"Something very important that I need, ands that's none of your business." I said putting my sneakers on.

"Well what is it?" he persisted.

I smiled as a thought popped into my head. "My feminine products. Need any more detail?"

"Aw I wished I never asked." he said in disgust.

I laughed as I walked out the door. I walked to my car opening the trunk to find my cooler. I sighed as I opened it up pulling out a small jar. I opened it up taking a large sip of the cold liquid inside. Feeling it run down my throat felt good. I finished off the jar before putting it back in with the others. I had enough jars left to tide me over for 2 more days. I wiped off the small excess the was on my face and closed my trunk and walked back into the room. Both Sam and Dean were sitting on Deans bed when I walked back in. They both looked my way. I looked back at them as I walked over.

"Are you sure your okay Blade? Sam asked me once I slipped back into my covers.

"Yes Sam I'll be fine. I promise." I said trying to reassure him. He gave a short nod then walked back over to his make-shift bed. I settled down in my covers. I looked over at Dean only to see him on his stomach facing away from me. I didn't think anything of it and went back to sleep myself hoping my nightmare wouldn't come back again.

Dean's POV

'I don't know what's going on with me. I can't think straight when I around her. I think she's knows who that name belongs to. It makes me wonder who this Myles character is. Probably some old boyfriend, some jerk that treated her wrong. God and the way her skin feels...mmmmmmm...and the way her hair smells, like summer rain...and her eyes, they're entrancing...wait what am I thinking I can't get involved with her. She's not even my type and making me think like a chick...ugh I need to stop thinking like chick and get up before Sam and her steal all the hot water' I got up out of bed and went to my bag to get my clothes out. Then I walked to to the bathroom closing the door and turning on the shower. Once done with my shower I dried myself off and put on my boxers and jeans. I walked out rubbing a towel on my head to dry my hair with my shirt in hand. once my hair was half way dry I threw the towel on my and put my shirt on. I grabbed my boots, sat on my bed and started to put them on as I noticed that Sam was still asleep, but Blade's bed was empty I looked around the room to see if she was here but she was nowhere in sight. I quickly put on my boots and walked to the door to she if she was outside. I looked over at her car the moment I opened the door. There she was standing in front of her open trunk. I walked over to her as she was closing it.

"Hey." I said to her when I was only a few feet away.

"Oh hey. Morning." She said looking at me.

"Yeah morning." I could feel the tension between us from what happened between us last night. "Is everything okay?"

"Hm?" she looked at me with a confused look before I pointed to her car. "oh, I'm just making sure I've got everything I need."

"For the hunt?"

"Yeah and some other things not for the hunt." She said crossing her arms over her chest.

"Are you cold?"

"No I'm good. We should head back in before Sam thinks we were kidnapped or something."

"Yeah you're right." I said as she turned and started walking to the room I followed her in and closed the door. Sam was still passed out. 'Must be exhausted from everything.' I looked over to Blade walk into the bathroom and close the door. I had no idea what I was going to do about this case but I'm hoping that it will be over quick.

Blade's POV

I took a quick shower and got dressed. As I walked out I noticed that Dean was gone but Sam was finally up looking at his laptop, probably researching. "Hey, glad to see that you're finally up. Where's Dean?"

"Yeah I was just really out of it. But Dean went to get coffee and he should be back any minute now." Just as Sam finished his sentence Dean walked in with cup holder with three coffees. He put it down on the table and handed Sam his. Then he walked over to me and handed me one.

"I didn't know how you like it so I just left it black but I just brought sugar and cream just in case." He said pulling them out of his jacket pocket.

"Thanks." I said giving him a smile while taking the cream and sugar from his hand. But as I did that our hands brushed against one another and I felt the surge of electricity flow through my body. I locked eyes with Dean. It felt like forever until we heard Sam clear his throat. I looked away and walked over to my bed setting my coffee down on the bedside table to make my coffee the way I like it. Dean walked over to Sam to see what he was doing. I took a sip of my drink to make sure it was right. The hot liquid warmed my body as I drank it. I looked over at the clock to see that it was only 9:30. I knew she would be up and now was the time to call her. "Hey guys, I'll be right back I have to make a quick phone call."

"Okay. I'll fill you in on what's going on when you get back." Sam said looking up from his laptop, Dean just nodded to me as I walked out the door. I walked a ways from the motel making sure that nobody would see me or hear me. I pulled out my phone and dialed the number. It rang 3 times before a familiar voice filled my ear.

"Hello Blade. I was wondering when you were going to call." a hint of amusement in her voice.

"Hello to you to Jade." I said as I rolled my eyes. "I was just calling to let you know that I'm out."

"You were always one to get down to business." I heard her chuckle. "Plus I had a feeling you were either running low or out, and knew you'd be calling soon. That's why I went ahead and brewed some up for ya."

"Thanks Jade. You're a real life saver." I sighed. "I had another one last night. It wasn't pretty and plus I'm not alone on this hunt."

"Oooo...do tell who you are with."

"I just so happened to run into the Winchester boys last night. We're working together on this hunt. They gave me a place to sleep for the night, and before you even go there, nothing happened." I knew I couldn't tell her what happened between me and Dean because she'd never let me live it down.

"Sure whatever you say."

"Jade..." I said threateningly.

"Hey! A girl can dream and imagine with the Winchester boys. But no, seriously how long are you going to be staying with them?"

"Just for this case and that's it. You know me I don't do well with partners for to long not after what happened to...to Myles." I could feel the tears beginning to come.

"Sweetie don't work yourself up before a hunt. Promise me that you'll take care of yourself so that nothing happens."

"Yeah I promise." I felt a tear roll down my face and I quickly wiped it away.

"Okay. I'll see you when your done with your hunt, alright?"

"Yeah I'll see you in a few days."

"Okay see you then. Bye baby girl."

"Bye Jade." I hung up the phone and walked back to my car. I looked in my side view mirror to make sure I didn't look like I was crying. Luckily my eyes weren't read and then I walked to my trunk and opened it up. I opened the cooler just to take out another small jar and down it in just a few gulps. Then I put the empty jar back in the cooler, closed my trunk and sat on it taking a few minutes to calm myself down. Just as I was sitting there I didn't hear the approaching footsteps until I heard someone clear their throat. I turned around to find a pair of hazel green eyes meet my chocolate brown ones.

"You okay?" he asked breaking the silence.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I said looking away from him.

"So...about last night?"

"Don't. It should have never happened, and it won't happened again."

"Right okay. Well now that we have that cleared up Sam has found some interesting stuff he wants to let us know."

"Okay." I got off my trunk and followed him into the room. Sam was not at the table when we walked in but the shower was running. "Well guess we have to wait seeing as he's in the shower."

"Yeah I guess so." we both sat on our separate beds not looking at one another. We sat there for a while not saying anything. Then we heard the shower shut off and five minutes later Sam walked out dressed and towel drying his hair.

"Jeez Sam, finally you're worse than a girl taking a shower." Dean said breaking the awkward silence.

I could see Sam was about to protest but then stopped probably not wanting to fight with Dean right now. He walked over to his laptop pulling up the page he had found that information about our ghost hunt.

"So I did some more digging on our ghost apparently our ghost's name is Annabelle Johnson. She died at the age of 24, her death was ruled a suicide. Scott Williamson was engaged to Annabelle by an arrangement by their parents. She was killed in 1869 she was found in the woods near her village her wrists were slit. So after Annabelle's death her best friend, Evelyn Hart, married Scott. So now Annabelle haunts her old village. Probably looking for her killer. There have been 6 murders over the years. All women found near the village with their wrists slit." Sam said looking over at me and Dean.

"So then Annabelle's killer is a women." I said giving out my input.

"Maybe it was the best friend." Dean said walking over to Sam and taking a seat at the table.

"That would make sense, since it was her best friend that did up marrying Scott."Sam said looking over at Dean.

"So we go to the village tonight to try and find out what happened." I said.

"I don't think that's a good." Dean said looking over at me. "This Annabelle chick seems to only go after girls and we're not going to use you as bait if that's what you're getting at."

"Who are you to tell me what I can and can't do? You are not the boss of me and if I want to use myself as bait I can do as I please." I said getting defensive.

"Whoa you better watch who you're talking to sweetheart." Dean said in a cocky tone.

"You better watch it Winchester, or you're going to regret it." I said as I could feel my hands ball into fists.

"Oh really? And what are you going to do about it?" He said glaring at me.

"Will you two knock it off?" Sam said catching both of us off guard. We both looked over at him. "Dean Blade has a point,it may not be the greatest one, but it's still a good point. The ghost only goes after women, and she's a woman. She's our best chance if we want to get the ghost."

"Since when are you on her side?" Dean protested.

"Dean I'm not trying to take sides, I'm just saying we have a better chance of distracting the ghost while we salt and burn the bones." Sam said trying to convince Dean.

"Do we even know if there are any bones?" Dean said.

"Yeah. Her grave is in the cemetery next to the village. We'll have do a little searching that way we'll know where it is when we go back later tonight. But for now you an I will go and find her grave. Blade you're going to have to stay here. That way we don't have anything happen unexpected." Sam said turning to me.

"Fine I'll stay here while you go look for the grave now, But you can sure bet that I'm going with you tonight when we have to go back." I said not liking the idea but going along with it.

"Thank you." Sam said sounding satisfied that he could resolve the problem at hand.

"So lets head out." said Dean getting up.

"Blade we should be back in a couple of hours, just saying to be safe." Sam said getting up as well.

"Yeah I figure. Just give me a call when you guys are headed back." I said as I pulled out my phone. "but first it would be nice to get your number that way we can keep in touch."

Sam took out his phone and handed it to me as he took mine. I entered my number and he entered his. I took mine back as he took his. Dean just rolled his eyes and walked to the door.

"Hey we'll stop and get food, do u want anything?" Sam said looking at me for my response.

"Yeah. A bacon cheese burger, with extra bacon and fries, please." I said with a smile.

"Okay we'll be back soon."

"Alright. Bye." I said waving them off as they closed the door. I looked clock as it read 11:30.'Great now what am I suppose to do until they come back?' I knew I had to call Bobby so I figured I'd get it out of the way. I grabbed my phone off the bed next to me and dialed his number.

"Hello?" Bobby said answering the phone.

"Hey Bobby, it's Blade."

"Girl what are you doing with those Winchesters?"

"Bobby, please it's just for one case. I promise. So please spare me that routine."

"Kid you watch your mouth on who you're talking to."

"Sorry Bobby. I didn't sleep well. I had another nightmare."

"Are you okay?" Bobby's tone changed the moment I mentioned the dream.

"I'm okay. There's also another problem."

"What's that Blade?"

"I've drank two jars since I got up this morning. My cravings are getting worse Bobby. I don't know what I'm going to do if my appetite is getting bigger. I've only got six jars left and I stared out with twelve and they're suppose to last me the next two days until I can get back to your house because you have my supply."

"Do you think you can ration out your supply until you can get to my house?"

"Maybe but it's going to be hard, and I'm going to be a bigger bitch than usual, but I think I can do it. Hopefully."

"When are you suppose to finish up with the case?"

"We're suppose to finish it tonight."

"Why don't you just leave tonight after you get the job done or tomorrow morning?"

"Yeah I'll leave in the morning. It'll be better that way. I'll give you a call when I'm on my way."

"Good, because if your appetite is getting bigger I'm going to have to up your supply."

"Yeah that's probably a good idea."

"Well I see you when you get here and be careful around those boys. I don't trust Dean around you, Sam I'm okay with, but Dean not so much."

"Don't worry. I'll be fine I can take care of myself and you know that."

"I know that but you know how I am."

"Yeah I know. I'll see you soon bobby."

"Alright kid see you soon. Bye Blade."

"Bye Bobby." I hung up the phone sighing. I knew Bobby was right, and I felt bad for not telling him what happened but it wasn't his business at the moment. My goal now was to get this case done and then get to Bobby's. I laid back down on the bed and turned on the TV. I flipped through the channels be finding something to watch.

Sam and Dean returned 3 hours later. They had brought food as promised. I practically swallowed my burger whole as we didn't have breakfast. Just as I was finishing my burger I heard Dean say "Damn, hungry much?"

"What? We didn't have breakfast so I'm just really hungry." I swallowed the last of my burger and then started on the fries which were gone 2 minutes later.

"Damn! That girl can eat." Dean said to Sam who looked over at me just as I was wiping my mouth.

"I guess you were hungry." he said in astonishment.

"Yeah." I said nodding my head. I looked over at his meal seeing he wasn't even half way done."Hey you gonna finish that?"

"Yeah, I'm just taking my time. Next time we buy food we'll make sure to get you two of everything." he said laughing.

"Sorry, I just have a big appetite." I said kind of embarrassed.

"It's ok." Sam said waving it off.

I went back to watching TV as the boys finished eating. After a while Dean began to clean his gun while sitting on his bed and Sam was on his computer trying to see if he could figure out any more on our case. I lost interest in the show I was watching as it wasn't that great. I laid on my back looking up at the ceiling. I pulled out my ipod and flipped through the music till one song came up to play. 'Missing Pages' by Seventh Day Slumber.

On the outside all we see is clay

That hides the perfect light

But no one really knows the pain inside

I understand how much it hurts

To be the one who's never seen

The missing pages in a magazine

No one knows you anymore

You re lost inside the walls you've built

No one knows you anymore

A prison deep within your soul

There is One who sees it all

He ll give you life you've never dreamed

He can see the pain underneath your skin

It's hard to see you fading

Nothing that I do can bring you back

I pray to God that you don t fade away

Your addiction is a symptom of a lost and dying soul

Without Jesus there s no hope at all

No one knows you anymore

You re lost inside the walls you've built

No one knows you anymore

A prison deep within your soul

There is One who sees it all

He ll give you life you've never dreamed

He can see the pain underneath your skin

There's so much more this is not the end

Its all in your hands don t throw it away

A beautiful life with so much to give

The image of God underneath your skin

No one knows you anymore

You re lost inside the walls you've built

No one knows you anymore

A prison deep within your soul

There is One who sees it all

He ll give you life you've never dreamed

He can see the pain underneath your skin

The beauty of God underneath your skin

The beauty of God underneath your skin

The beauty of God underneath your skin

After the song was done and another started I couldn't help but wonder...could God, if he even existed, give me a better life than the cursed one I live now? Only a handful of people know the true me. But I know that wishing for a normal life for me is like hell freezing over. It could and possibly would never happen.

I was still looking at the ceiling when Dean came into my view. I blinked a couple of times before pulling my head-phones out. "Get ready." was all he said to me. I looked at the clock to see that it was a little after eight. Apparently times flies when I'm in my own little world. I put my sneakers back on and put my ipod away. I pulled my gun out from under my pillow putting it in the back waistband of my pants, and straightened my shirt to hide it. I looked over at Dean and Sam. They were loading up a bag with weapons for our hunt.

"That's everything Dean." Sam said putting the last item in the bag.

"Alright lets head out." Dean said grabbing the bag and heading towards the door. Sam and I followed him out and headed for the Impala. Once on the road they let me in on the plan. We were all going to the Annabelle's grave. Dean and Sam would be the ones digging her up as I would be the one to blast her with rock salt if she came near us. Then they would salt and burn the bones once they dug her up. As we drove there I could feel someone watching me. I turned towards the front to the rear view mirror to meet his eyes. His eyes locked with mine only until I looked away. I couldn't bare to look into his eyes, nothing should have happened to us, and it won't happen again. I won't let it, I can't let myself get hurt again. We finally made it to the cemetery and made our way to Annabelle's grave.

Once there the boys started to dig while I kept a look out for Annabelle's ghost. Twenty minutes later I heard a loud crack and looked down in the grave to see Sam getting out and Dean taking another whack with the shovel to open the casket her body was in. I then caught something out of the corner of my eye and whipped my head that way. That's when I came face to face with Annabelle's ghost. I tried to pull the shotgun in my hand u fast, but I wasn't fast enough as I felt myself flying through the air and my back hitting a tree. I could already feel the bruise forming also knowing I was going to be in trouble later, but right now I had to focus on staying alive and keeping Sam and Dean alive as well. I stumbled to get up while grabbing the gun from off the ground looking around for the ghost.

"Sam? Dean?" I called out to see where they were.

"Blade?" I heard Sam call. I could see him laying on the ground about a hundred feet from the grave. "Dean?"

There was no answer from Dean and I was beginning to worry just like I knew Sam was. I began to walk to the grave as I was closer then Sam. That's when she showed up again, and we locked eyes.

"You Bitch!" She yelled at me. "How could you kill me? How could you steal my love away from me?"

"Whoa you got the wrong girl Annabelle. I'm not Evelyn. But I am a bitch." I said pulling out the shotgun and pulling the trigger. She disappeared as the rock salt hit her and I made a run for it. I could see Sam headed me way but I made it to the grave first. I grabbed the salt and poured it on her bones, Sam made it over to me just as Annabelle appeared again. Sam yelled for me to throw him the shotgun and I tossed it to him as I grabbed the lighter fluid and matches. I heard the shot go off only a few feet from me as I quickly sprayed on the lighter fluid and struck the packet of matches and threw it into the grave. I turned just in time to see Annabelle coming straight for me screaming. She then burst into flames just before reaching me, I had to turn and cover my face just as she passed by me, and then she was gone. I turned back to Sam with a smile on my face nodding my head at another job done. That's until I realized Dean was still missing. "Sam did you see where Dean went? Or was thrown?"

"No, I was to busy flying through the air." Sam said looking around. "DEAN?" He yelled.

"DEAN?" I yelled hoping that he would answer. "Sam lets split up. we'll probably be able to find Dean a lot faster."

"Good idea. If you find him first call me and if I find him I'll do the same."

"Okay I'll go this way," I said pointing towards the way we came from "And you go that way towards the village."

"Okay." Sam said taking off in the direction I told him go to.

I stood in the cemetery scanning the dark ground, but saw nothing. I then started walking towards the car when I heard a low soft groan. I whipped around looking for where it came from, but I couldn't figure out where. I kept looking around trying to find where that groan came from. "Dean?" I called out.

I walked behind a tree to find a ditch where I found Dean, face down. I ran down to him checking to see if he was okay. I grabbed my hone calling Sam telling him where I was and that I found Dean. Once he was on his way back over to us I rolled Dean over gently to see if there was any damage. Once rolled over the sharp scent filled my nose. I swallowed hard as I saw the blood sticking to his face and neck. I slowly got up and started to back away. Sam soon arrived and looked over his brother.

"Blade it looks like he hit his head pretty hard when he was thrown." Sam said turning Dean head to get a better look at his wound.

"Is he going to be okay I asked?" covering my face while turning away from them.

"Yeah he's going to be okay. Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine." my voice rising a bit.

"Are you squeamish around blood?" Sam asked and I could hear the humor in his voice.

"Yes, but not with my own blood, just other peoples."

"But you're a hunter..."

"Yeah so...I'm a hunter but I just don't do cases that involve blood. OK?"

"Yeah okay. Whatever, anyway do you think you can give me a hand or are you to grossed out by the blood?"

"I can pick up his feet behind my back just as long as I don't see any blood."

"Alright." Sam said. I walked backwards slowly until I hit Dean's feet. I bent down and grabbed his ankles and together Sam and I carried Dean back to the Impala. Once Dean was in the back seat, Sam and I got into the front and Sam drove us back to the motel. We carried Dean inside and Sam began to clean off the blood from Deans face and neck. I waited outside until he was finished. He came outside when he was done.

"I thought you were fearless. Now that I know your weakness it's kinda funny." He said walking over to my car where I was sitting on the trunk.

"Haha, very funny. Yes I'm a hunter and squeamish around blood. So sue me." I retorted sarcastically.

"Hey I'm just messing with you. It's ok. I understand, really, I do." he said putting a hand on my shoulder. I gave him a small smile.

"How's Dean doing?" I asked.

"He's okay. He'll be fine, sore tomorrow but fine."

"Well that's good." I looked away sighing.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, just tried. I'm thinking about gong to bed here in a bit." I looked back at him.

"Yeah sleep sounds good." he said nodding. We both headed back in. Sam and got ready for bed, but I made sure I packed everything I had before getting in my bed. Sam had no idea that I was leaving as soon as he was asleep. I was never good with goodbyes. I knew this was the best way, but I would leave a small note at least telling them I left on my own account.

Once I knew Sam was asleep I gently got out of bed put my jeans and sneakers on. I grabbed the notepad off the table and quickly scribbled a note.

Sam and Dean,

Sorry for leaving this way, but it's for the best. Maybe one day we'll run into each other again, but for now it's time for us to go our separate ways again.

It was nice to finally meet you guys.

Thanks,

Blade

I looked over at Sam sleeping peacefully, then over at Dean. I softly walked over to see Deans sleeping form. He looked like a totally different person, when he was sleeping, almost angelic. I gently touched his face, knowing in the back of my head for some reason I would miss him. I placed a soft kiss on his forehead. Then I grabbed my stuff and quickly and quietly sneaked out of the room. As I drove out of the parking lot and onto the highway, I couldn't help but feel like I left something behind, but I couldn't figure out what it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!!!


	3. It's been a while

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's chapter 3

Chapter 3

It's been two months since I've seen or heard from the Winchester's. I've gotten a new phone since then but keep my old one just in case. I get messages from Sam time to time. But I never reply. I've been staying with Bobby since I left Sam and Dean. I've gone on a few hunts with Bobby but mostly we've been trying to figure out what's been going on with me. Sam and Dean came by looking for me, but luckily I slipped away before they could find me. they haven't been back since. I thought today was going to be like any other day until I went downstairs.

I walked down the stairs with my nose in a book not even looking up as I sat down at the table in the kitchen. I heard Bobby place a plate in front of me. "Thanks Bobby." I still didn't look up from my book. I had just grabbed a piece of bacon when I got a response, but the voice I heard wasn't Bobby's.

"You're welcome, and hello to you to princess." came an old familiar voice.

I stopped reading as my body froze causing me to drop the food in my hand. My eyes went wide as saucers at the sound of his voice. Two months of not thinking about HIM. I slowly lowered the book from in front of my eyes to see Dean standing against the kitchen counter with his arms crossed over his chest with a smug look on his face. My heart started to pound hard in my chest, and my breathing shallow and I couldn't think. There he was standing in all his cockiness, enjoying every second of it. That's when my anger started to boil. Two months without thoughts of Dean running through my head and there he was standing in Bobby's kitchen taunting me. My face contorted from surprise to scowl. I stood up alertly and walked out of the kitchen leaving my food on the table and headed towards Bobby's office. Which was in the living room. Just as I walked into the room there stood Sam and Bobby looking at a book discussing in hushed voices. My anger rose even more. How could Bobby not warn me that they were coming?

"Bobby! How could you not tell me that Dean and Sam were coming?" I said trying to hold back my anger.

"I didn't know they were coming until they showed up on my doorstep. And they had already seen your car so I couldn't very well say you weren't here." he said looking over at me.

"Why are they here in the first place?" I was trying to control my breathing.

"Sam here is trying to figure a way out of Deans crossroads deal. " he said pointing to Sam.

"Thanks Bobby. If you need me, don't bother." I said walking out of the living room storming up the stair to my room locking the door as soon as I closed the door behind me.

Back downstairs Dean's POV

I watched Blade storm up the to her room. I had never heard anyone talk to Bobby like that. I was leaning against the door frame in between the kitchen and living room. I looked over at Bobby and Sam. Sam's expression was that of somewhere between shock and confusion and Bobby's was unfazed. I was a little shocked myself at how calm his reaction was. "What's up her butt?" I said not really expecting an answer.

"Boy, you better watch what you say about her in front of me unless you want to me to put you in Hell myself." Bobby said threateningly. "You don't know what you're talking about. So keep your mouth shut and leave her alone, igit."

"Well Bobby why don't you enlighten Sam and myself on what's going on with Blade, because she hasn't exactly been giving us any clues or talking to us for that matter." I retorted.

"That's for Blade to tell ya, if she even thinks you could handle it, but from the way your acting I highly doubt she'll ever tell you or anyone for that matter. Now I suggest you show me some respect boy."

I was about to say something else when Sam cut in before I could. "Guys! Please can we get on with the task at hand? Which is trying to find a way to break this deal." he said looking between me and Bobby.

"Sam give it a rest! There's no way of saving me from the pit and you know it. Just this run it's course. Just let me live my life Sam. Damn!" I said before walking off the go outside.

I couldn't stand the fact that Sam was wasting his time looking for a way to save me. I wish he could. I didn't want to leave Sam, but I didn't want to go to Hell either. Yet I had no choice, I was the one how made the deal not Sam, and I couldn't just have let him die back then.

As I stood by the Impala I looked around and spotted Blades car, and it made me wonder what was going on with her. 'Why was she so angry with Sam and me being here? What was she hiding? What was Bobby not telling us?' So many questions ran through my head. 'For a hot girl, she was one of the most confusing girls I've met.'

Blade's POV

I've been in my room for almost an hour and a half. I've been trying to read my book that I was reading earlier, but I've read the same sentence five times. I couldn't concentrate so I decided to get a shower, to help calm me down and clear my head hopefully. I gathered my stuff and headed for the bathroom. Just as I was about to open the door, the door opened to reveal Dean wet and in a towel. I couldn't tear my eyes from him. There he stood, water dripping from his hair down his body. It was like brain had just stopped working. I couldn't stop staring until he spoke up.

"What? Like what you see Blade?" His smirk appeared and his cockiness reared it's ugly head.

"Nope." I said returning the smirk.

"Sure, you know you want me." He said taking a step towards me.

"You can keep telling yourself that, but why waste the few brain cells you have left on that?"

"Do you have to be such a bitch?"

"Do you have to be such a pervert?"

"Can't help that sweetheart, that's my nature."

"Look I just want to get a shower. I really don't feel like killing you right now. I'll do that later." I said looking annoyed.

"Get in line." he said before walking off. I watched him walk passed me and in to his room. I shook my head and walked into the bathroom closing the door and getting into the shower.

Once I was finished I dried off and got dressed. I threw my wet hair into a messy bun and walked out. I went back to my room and closed the door. I grabbed the book hoping I could finish what I was reading about, but as I sat down I didn't open it. My mind wandered to what Dean had said earlier. 'Get in line', I knew he made some crossroads deal but I didn't know the full extent of it. I put the book back down but I grabbed my ipod instead. I flipped through until I found 'It's been a While' by Staind

It's been a while

Since I could hold my head up high and it's been a while

Since I first saw you

It's been a while since i could stand on my own two feet again

and it's been a while since i could call you

But everything I can't remember as fucked up as it may seem

the consequences that I've rendered

I've stretched myself beyond my means

It's been a while since i could say that i wasn't addicted

and It's been a while

Since I could say I love myself as well and

It's been a while

Since I've gone and fucked things up just like i always do

It's been a while But all that shit seems to

disappear when i'm with you

But everything I can't remember as fucked up as it may seem

the consequences that I've rendered

I've gone and fucked things up again

Why must i feel this way?

just make this go away just one more peaceful day

Its been awhile Since I could look at myself straight

and it's been awhile since i said i'm sorry

It's been awhile Since I've seen the way the candles light your face

It's been awhile

But I can still remember just the way you taste

But everything I can't remember as fucked up as it may seem

I know it's me i cannot blame this on my father he did the best he could for me

It's been a while

Since I could hold my head up high

and it's been a while since i said i'm sorry

After listening to the song I made up my mind and walked out my room and walked to his door. I stood there for a second before lightly knocking. I didn't have to wait long before he opened his door.

"I knew it was only a matter of time, I knew you couldn't resist." he said with smirk on his face.

I just rolled my eyes. "Can we talk?"

He stepped aside and let me in, then closed the door. "So what do you want to talk about?"

"Dean, why'd you make the deal?" I asked bluntly turning to face him.

"Bobby didn't tell you?"

"No, and I've never asked. Until now, but I figured if I had to ask anyone it should be you as you're the one who made the deal."

"Why do you want to know?"

"Because I want to know why you would sacrifice your own life to save your brother, even after you know that your dad did the same thing for you."

Dean didn't anything for a while just walked over to his window and looked out at Bobby's junk yard full of cars. I was about to apologize when he began to speak. "Have you ever cared about someone so much that you would do anything to keep them safe?" He said still looking out the window.

"Yes."

"Well Sam's my little brother. I've had to look after him my whole life. I had to take care of him, making sure nothing happened. I made that promise to our father. If anyone has to die it's going to be me, not Sam. He's got a way out after this is all done, I don't."

"Dean..." I walked over to him and placed my hand on his shoulder. He turned towards me as I did that. "Don't give up Dean."

"I've got about six months left Blade. Not much time left. If I try to find some way out of the deal Sam dies."

"And that's why you don't want him looking for a way out for you." He shook his head no. "Are you scared?"

"Of going to Hell? No, I've come to terms with it."

"Dean you don't have to lie to me. I not going to tell anyone. You have my word."

He looked at me and nodded before answering. "Okay, yeah I'm scared, but I can't let Sam know. I have to be his big brother and not show my fear. We're each others weaknesses. I can't have Sam dead along with me."

I felt bad that Dean has to go through this torment. I pulled him into a hug, it was the only thing I could think of to do. I felt his body tense at first but then relax as I felt his arms wrap around my waist. We stood there holding each other not saying anything, as there was nothing more to say. I pulled my head up from his shoulder and our eyes met. I felt his eyes could see right through me, and I couldn't hide anything. I started to get this feeling in the pit of my stomach. I did something I never thought I would do, I leaned in and kissed Dean softly. I had just pulled away when Dean pulled me back in. It felt so wrong, but yet felt so right as I ran my fingers through his hair. He deepened the kiss by forcing his tongue into my mouth. I didn't complain as I only wanted more. Dean gently pushed me up against the wall, pressing his whole body into mine. His lips left mine to leave a trail of kissing down my neck gently biting along the way. A soft moan left my throat causing Dean to bite down harder. His lips came back to mine, I could feel the hunger in the way he kissed. His hands began to slowly lift my shirt up and I automatically raised my arms, he only broke the kiss to get my shirt off. He threw behind him smiling as he did so. I grabbed his shirt and he had it off before I knew it. I pulled him back to me kissing him hard. I felt his hands over my bra, massaging my breasts, his hand were gentle yet rough at the same time. Just as Dean was reaching for the back of my bra there came a knock on the door. Dean and I froze just looking at each other. Another knock came.

"Who is it?" Dean called.

"It's Sam." Dean and I kept quiet and he let me go. I quickly and quietly grabbed my shrit off the floor and put it on. Dean pointed to the closet and then closed the door and went to go see what Sam wanted.

"Hey Sammy. What's up?" I heard Dean say. I felt like I was in high school again but instead of Dean being the one to hide from my 'parents' it was me hiding from Sam, his little brother well and Booby, but thank god he wasn't at the door either.

"Dean why do you not have a shirt on?" Sam questioned.

"I uh, spilled something on my other shirt and I was just about to put another shirt on when you knocked on my door." He said making something up on the spot. I tried to keep from laughing.

"OK. Anyway have you seen Blade? I've looked in her room but she isn't there and Bobby is looking for her."

"Nope, haven't seen her, but if I do I'll let her know."

"Alright." Sam said and then walked off. I heard the room door close and then the closet door was yanked open. Dean had a wicked grin on his face. I looked at him wide-eyed before I was roughly pulled into his arms and he started to kiss my neck again.

As bad as I wanted to continue, I had to see what Bobby wanted. I put my hands on Deans chest and gently pushed him off. "Dean I have to see what Bobby wants. I'm sorry." I said looking at him trying not to laugh.

"Eerrrr, why can't you wait until later?" he said pulling me closer by my waist.

"Because Dean if I don't show up soon I'm in for it."

"Fine." He growled letting me go.

I giggled a little and walked over to the door, before looking back at Dean he now had his shirt back on and was watching me. I felt bad that I had to stop our little fun session, but Bobby would be looking for me soon. I walked back over to him, wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned up to his ear,

"I promise I'll make it up to you." I then bit his earlobe, causing him to groan. I kissed his cheek, and walked out of the room making sure the cost was clear before making my way downstairs to see what Bobby wanted.

"Bobby?" I called as I walked into the living room.

"Hey, there you are. I think I found out why your cravings are getting bigger but I'm not really comfortable with this area. Just read this book here." he said handing me the book he was holding. "I've marked the place where you need to read. That's what I think is going on with you. Hopefully it will help."

"Thanks Bobby." I said smiling at him with a raised eyebrow, wondering what he was so uncomfortable with. I walked back upstairs, and into my room. I sat on my bed turning to the section. I being to read, and after I finished the last page, I realized why. I began to laugh, and then I walked back downstairs looking at Bobby trying not to burst out laughing.

"Thanks Bobby, but I can assure you that I'm not. The book makes a good point but, I'm not." I said smiling.

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because Bobby, and I know that you're not really going to like to here this, but I'm still a virgin."

"So you're telling me that your 21 years old and you haven't...?"

"No Bobby, I haven't."

"Not even you and Myles?"

"No, we were waiting." I said looking away.

"I'm sorry sweetie. I know you miss him."

"Yeah, I do but that's in the past, and I can't change it no matter what I do." I said sounding disappointed. "But anyways, thanks for helping." I went over and hugged him. He hugged me tight before letting me go. I soon realized that Bobby and I weren't going to be able to do this on our own. I was going to have to tell someone I could trust. I had to talk to Sam. I walked outside to find Sam sitting on the porch steps looking at his laptop. I swallowed hard as I approached him.

"Hey Sam." I said sitting down next to him.

"Oh hey, Bobby's looking for you." He said pointing to the house.

"Yeah Dean already told me and I just got done talking to him, but thanks." I said giving him a small smile.

"Everything okay?"

"Sam I need to talk to you."

"Okay, Shoot."

"Not here. Alone, away from here."

"Well where do you want to go?"

"Will you go on a drive with me?"

"Blade is everything okay?"

"Sam I'll explain everything to you if you come with me, please."

"Yeah okay."

"Thanks I'll go grab my keys and I'll let Bobby know we're leaving for a bit."

"Okay."

I walked back in and told Bobby that Sam and I were going for a drive, he'd asked me if we could pick up some food while we were out from a local diner. I grabbed my keys from the kitchen and walked back out letting Sam know we had to get food while we were out. We got into my car and headed into town. The drive was a good 20 minutes.

"So are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

"Sam before I say anything I need you to promise me that you won't ever repeat this to anybody, and this includes Dean, and I know that's a lot to ask, but he can't find out."

"Blade what's wrong?"

"Sam promise me first."

"Blade-"

"PROMISE ME!" I sort of yelled at him. He looked at me for a few minutes before giving me his answer.

"Okay Blade, I promise I will not tell anyone else, even Dean."

"Thank you." I said calming down. "Now Sam I want you to keep an open mind for what I'm about to tell you, because it's something way different from anything you've ever come across."

"Blade, whatever it is you can tell me."

"Sam I'm a..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know what you think!


	4. Beauty from Pain

Chapter 4

"Blade, whatever it is you can tell me."

"Sam I'm a..." I started to say. I stopped and took a deep breathe before trying again. "Sam, I'm a half-breed."

"What? What do you mean a half-breed?"

"I'm half human, half..."

"Half? Half human, half what Blade?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat. I've gone this far, so there's no going back. "Half vampire." I shrugged inwards waiting for the yelling.

"Vampire? Half Vampire? How is that even possible? Is that why you were being squeamish around Dean when he was covered in blood?" Sam's voice full of confusion.

I could believe I had just told Sam, but I knew I had to do it. I need his help, Bobby and I need his help. I was starting to breathe heavy and my vision started to blur. That's when I pulled the car off to the side of the road and quickly shut off the engine. I couldn't hold it any longer and the tears fell freely. I covered my face with my hands and let everything go. I then suddenly felt arms around me. Sam pulled me to his chest, holding me. Once I finally settled down I pulled away from Sam and knew I had some explaining to do. "Sam I'm going to try and explain everything as best I can."

"Okay just take your time." He said to me.

"My mother was a waitress, and use to work the night shift. When she was pregnant with me, she was walking to her car to go home when she was attacked. The vampire that attacked her. Bobby was the one to walk up upon the attack. He pulled the vampire away from my mother and called for help. The vampire who attacked her got away. As my mother was being rushed to the emergency room she went into labor with me. I lived, she didn't. I was then put up for adoption. I was adopted 5 days later. When I was thirteen I started to have these weird cravings whenever I saw blood. One night my 'mother' was in the kitchen making dinner when she cut the palm of her hand. There was so much and I couldn't hold myself back and I attacked her. When she tried to push me away I somehow grabbed the knife off the counter and started to stab her. Blood was everywhere and I started to drink. When my father walked in on what was going on, I stabbed him and then drank his blood. I felt so weird as I drank their blood. When I was finished and had realised what I done I freaked out and ran. I didn't know that Bobby had been keeping an eye on me over the years. He found three days later in an old abandon shed in the next town over. He knew what I had done and figured out what had happened that night my mom was attacked. Apparently the vampire that attacked her, so of his blood got into her system, and when I was inside it started to get in to mine, but when I was c-sectioned out the blood wasn't fully in my system. I did get some traits though. The thrust for blood, obviously, and their strength, and some minor power of mind control and I heal faster that normal but to as fast as a vampire. But I don't sun burn when I go out, and I don't have the fangs, but my eyes sometimes do change color. And that's it, Sam you now know who and...what I am." I looked away as I finished my story. It was the first time I've told anyone my secret since Myles.

Sam just sat there for a bit not saying anything. The awkward silence was beginning to become to much. "Sam please...say something."

"I don't really know what to say. It's a lot to take in." Sam said looking over at me.

"I know, but the reason I told you is that I need your help."

"My help? What's going on?"

"For the past few months my cravings, as Bobby and I call them, have been getting bigger. I use to be able to get by with a jar a day at most two a day, but now it's 3 to 4 a day sometimes 5 to 6. Bobby and I have been trying to figure out what's been going on but it's kind of hard seeing as I'm pretty much the only one of my kind."

"Why don't you want Dean to know?"

"Sam he hasn't got much time left, and I don't want him to have to worry about me...and I don't think he'll understand."

"Yeah I can see your point, and understand where you're coming from." he said looking out at the road.

"What do you mean Sam?" I asked confused.

"The night our mom died in the fire, the demon that we killed a while back told me that e bled into my mouth. I have demon blood coursing through my veins."

"Oh well, I guess we're more alike then we thought we were." I said giving a little chuckle.

"Yeah I guess so." Sam said looking back at me with a smile. "Blade I'll help you in anyway I can, but I don't like keeping secrets from Dean."

"Sam, Dean has got about six months left, he doesn't need to worry about me. I can keep myself under control."

"I know, I remember." He said referring to when Dean had gotten hurt on the case we worked on.

"Thanks Sam."

"For what?"

"For understanding." I said as I leaned over and hugged him as he hugged me back. I then pulled back and turned the car back on. "Better get the food before we yelled at."

"Yeah."

Sam and I drove the rest of the way back into town and picked up food for all of us. We headed back to Bobby's. Once we all had our lunch I talked to Bobby in private letting him know that I had told Sam my secret, but not Dean. He wasn't to happy at first but then he finally came to realize that we kinda needed more help.

Later that night

I laid on the hood of my car looking up an the night sky. My eadphones in my ears as 'Beauty from Pain' by Superchick. I sang along with the words as they meant a lot to me.

The lights go out all around me

One last candle to keep out the night

And then the darkness surrounds me

I know I'm alive but I feel like I've died

And all that's left is to accept that it's over

My dreams ran like sand through the fists that I made

I try to keep warm but I just grow colder

I feel like I'm slipping away

After all this has passed,

I still will remain

After I've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain

Though it won't be today,

Someday I'll hope again

And there'll be beauty from pain

You will bring beauty from my pain

My whole world is the pain inside me

The best I can do is just get through the day

When life before is only a memory

I'll wonder why God lets me walk through this place

And though I can't understand why this happened

I know that I will when I look back someday

And see how you've brought beauty from ashes

And made me as gold purified through these flames

After all this has passed, I still will remain

After I've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain

Though it won't be today,

Someday I'll hope again

And there'll be beauty from pain

You will bring beauty from my pain

Here I am, at the end of me

Tryin to hold to what I can't see I forgot how to hope

This night's been so long I cling to Your promise

There will be a dawn

After all this has passed, I still will remain

After I've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain

Though it won't be today,

Someday I'll hope again

And there'll be beauty from pain

You will bring beauty from my pain

Little did I know that someone was watching me till I heard them clear their throat when I was done. I bolted up and turned around to see Dean standing there with his trade-mark smirk on his face, and that only enraged me more.

"How long have been standing there?" I said as I pulled out my headphones.

"Long enough." he said looking straight back at me.

"How long?" I almost growled.

"Long enough to know that you've got a good voice."

"Don't ever do that again."

"I seem to get to know you more that way than talking to you." He said as he began walking over and standing in front of me.

"Do you always have to act like a bitch?"

"Do you always have to act like a jerk?"

"Why do you do that?"

"DO what?"

"You practically repeat the sentence that I just said but put an insult in for me instead."

"You ask me why I'm a bitch, well I'm asking you why you act like a jerk and a pervert."

"It's my nature princess."

"Well there you go, you just answered both of our questions." I replied sarcastically.

"Whatever, anyways, what are you doing out here?"

"Trying to clear my head." I said rolling my eyes.

"How's that working out for you?"

"I was fine until you came."

"Oh I'm so sorry." He said dramatically.

"And you wonder why people think you're a dick."

"You know you're a real smart-ass."

"Takes one to know one."

"Yeah well at least I don't dream about my dead ex's and call out his names." and that was the nail on the head for me. Dean took it one step to far. I lunged off my car and onto tackling him. As soon as his back hit the ground I sat on top of him and began to punch him with every ounce of anger I had in me. I laid in punch after punch, screaming at him.

"YOU STUPID SON-OF-A-BITCH! YOU'RE NOTHING! YOU'RE A STUPID DICK WHO WILL NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING!" I screamed. I heard the door to the house and footsteps running our way but I didn't stop until I was yanked off of him by my waist, and I struggled to get out of the persons grip to go back to beating Dean.

"BLADE! Blade stop!" Sam yelled at me. He was the one to pull me off. Bobby went to Dean's side. I stopped struggling as the sent of Dean's blood hit my nose. Sam realized what was going just as Bobby looked over at me.

"Sam! Bunker! NOW!" Bobby ordered to Sam. Sam held tight onto my waist and dragged me into the house. He took me down to the iron bunker that Bobby had built. He then locked us inside and let me go. I walked away from Sam and across the bunker.

"Sam...please." I said breathing heavy.

"What is it Blade?" Sam asked walking over to me.

"Sam I...need...blood." I said becoming even more weak.

Sam looked around the bunker trying to find what I needed. When he spotted a lager refrigerator looking cabinet he rushed over and yanked the door open. He grabbed the first jar he saw and the gave it to me when he came back over. I unscrewed the lid to the jar and as soon as it was off the jar was to my lips. I drank the whole large jar down. Once I was done I wiped away the excess and sat down on the bed in the bunker. I put the jar down on the floor then laid down and curled up into a ball. I felt the bed sink down behind me, knowing it was Sam that had taken a seat next to me. I then felt his hand on my back rubbing up and down trying to help calm me down.

A little while later Bobby came down alone. "Kid what were you thinking you could have killed him." Bobby said as he walked into the bunker.

"He had no right to say what he said to me." I said not getting up or looking over at him.

"Well what did he say to make you almost kill him?"

"He said something about Myles." I looked over at him as I spoke.

"Oh Blade." Bobby said sounding frustrated.

"Wait who's Myles?" Sam said interrupting.I looked over at Bobby as he was looking at me, I gave him a small nod giving him the okay to tell Sam.

"Sam, Myles was Blade's first love, and her fiance'. He was killed a while back." Bobby said.

"Oh Blade, I'm sorry." Sam said looking over at me.

"Sam it's okay. I've comes to terms with it. It's been 4 years since he passed, and I can't bring him back no matter what I do. I miss him but I Know he wouldn't want to see me like this so I'm trying to move on. I know I would have wanted the same thing if the roles were reversed." I said finally sitting up pulling my legs up and wrapped my arms around them. Sam moved so he was next to me and put is arm around me.

"I know how you feel. When I lost Jessica I felt lost, I just wanted to get revenge, but when I got it, it still didn't fill that void in my heart. You've got the right idea." Sam said looking at me with sincere look.

"Thanks Sam." I said hugging him. He gently squeezed me back then we let go. I looked over at Bobby. "So what's the verdict? Is he going to live?"

"He'll live, but he's going to be a bit sore for a bit, with a few bruises for a while. You really did a number on him." Bobby said shaking his head.

"Well he'll know not to mess with me anymore." I said giving a little laugh. I heard Sam laugh with me but Bobby crossed his arms over his chest and gave me a stern look. I just gave him an innocent look and he rolled is eyes at me before walking off. I just started laughing harder as soon he left, Sam laughing with me. I got up and walked over to the cooler and grabbed another jar. Sam looked at me as I took a sip. "What?"

"It's just going to take me a bit...getting use to you drinking blood."

"Oh sorry." I said as I started to put the jar away.

"It's okay Blade. It's not your fault. It's just going to take me a bit before I can get my head wrapped around it all."

"Oh, okay." I took another sip then put the jar back into the cooler. "Well I'm going to head off to bed Sam. I'll see you in the morning."

"Yeah I need to get o bed to, but I've got to check on Dean first. I'll walk up with you." Sam said as he got up. We both headed up the stairs to the main floor then to the second I headed to my room as Sam headed to check on his brother. I didn't realize how tired I was until I got into bed and soon fell asleep.

I woke up the next morning early. When I rolled over and grabbed my cell phone to look at my clock it read 6:30am. I groaned inwardly and put my head back down into my pillow. As I laid there I couldn't help but think about the previous nights events. I felt bad for what I had done. I finally made up my mind and grabbed my jacket as it was a little chilly, but that did nothing for my legs as I was wearing shorts. I softly crept to Deans room, trying not to wake anyone. I gently turned the knob on his door and walked in. I softly closed the door and tiptoed over to Dean's sleeping form. As I came up to him I got a good look at his face. He had 2 black eyes, a swollen lips and various cuts and bruises all over his face. My heart sank at seeing his face. I don't know what had come over me these days. I was feeling bad for I guy I hated, but now I felt less hatred for him. I was becoming confused around him and getting these weird feeling whenever he was near. I had no clue what was going on, and it was starting to scare me. I looked at Dean again before kneeling on the floor and leaning over to his ear. "I'm sorry Dean." I whispered, then got up and walked back to my room. I left my jacket on and climbed back in to bed before falling back to sleep.

Dean's POV

I had woken up sore all over with a horrible pain all over my face. I had remembered what had happened the night before and was immediately pissed off, but soon calmed down as I remembered what I had said. I had brought this pretty much upon myself, at what I had said to her, it had been uncalled for but she brought out something in me that I've never felt before. I get confused whenever I'm around her and getting these weird feelings. I have no clue why I'm getting these feelings and it's starting to really get to me. As I'm laying there I here the soft sound of my door knob turning and I close my eyes to pretend to be sleeping. I hear soft footsteps coming towards me then they stop next to my bed. I keep my eyes closed and make sure my breathing is normal. I then feel hot breath on my ear and Blade's voice whispering 'I'm sorry Dean'. I stayed relaxed until I heard the door close and then I sat up slowly in my bed.

I couldn't believe it, she'd probably never admit it again. But the fact that she apologized was enough. She was different then any girl I ever met and the feelings that I was feeling, it was all new to me and it scared me. I hardly know her, and I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't even know if she even feels the same way, and she probably doesn't. 'What am I thinking? Of course she's not going to have the same feelings that I have for her. I going to be gone soon and she can go on. Oh god damn chick flick moments!' I shook my at what I thought and that was a mistake. My head started to throb and I got up and slowly shuffled over to my bag to grab some painkillers for my throbbing head. I grabbed the flask that I carried in my leather jacket, popped the pills into my mouth and the took a swig from the flask. I took another long swig before putting the flask back into my jacket and went to lay on my bed. I couldn't stop thinking about her. It was hard not to but I had to try. I couldn't get close to her, and I wouldn't let her get close to me. I felt the pills starting to work as sleep began to take over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!!!


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